It just have to be a beep on my notification bar of my phone, I run from all the nook and corners of my room to check that notification. The notifications that beep in my hands reach. The screen time of my week has gone up by 18% this week. It says I spent 7 hours 30 minutes on phone each day. I am surprised! Surprised to the point of rolling my eyes and opening my mouth in awe, as if I am observing someone. You spent that many hours on phone? That is what I want to ask myself but I already know, I did. The flashbacks of watching 5 seasons of show in one go, scrolling through Facebook newsfeed for hours, hours of drooling over the TikTok videos, uselessly and effortlessly scrolling through Instagram feeds and many more. That is how long I spent each day on phone, on an average 7.5 hours a Day.
My ama says that her neighbor has a phone that costed Nu.8000 and that internet works better in his phone than hers. She tells me this story through her Wechat account. The only person she calls and messages are her children who has social media accounts and her husband. She says it makes her happy seeing us through the camera lens. Sometimes she doesn’t say it, but I know my mom who finds happiness in those little small faces of ours.
My apa says he watches religious discourse on his lonely and alone times through that mobile lens. Just like my ama, he also calls us and our ama. My apa never says he is happy, he must not be happy. He hasn’t been happy for so long, but I know my apa who hides that pain behind those hidden smiles and emotions.
My ani says she has no time for phones, she is either busy doing gardening or tending to her sickness. But, I know my Ani who makes time to call us through that mobile lens and who is always there on the other side of the phone if we make the ring.
My Ashang, just as my ani, he doesn’t have time for mobile either, he is busy tending to his business and working for life. But, I know my Ashang who used the same black and white mobile for so long until it served no purpose and who is always there on the other end to respond from that mobile lens.
And today I created a family group chat including my ama, apa, ashang, ani, my sisters and brother. If I spent 7.5 hours on average on screen, I want part of that screen time be the time I spent with my family. With someone who love me and with someone whom I love.
Wandering Thoughts 