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Can you really think of what did you do in one year when we tend to forget of what we did in a moment ago? I was talking with one of my friends who have got through Bhutan Civil Service Examination (BCSE) and is pursuing his postgraduate in Royal Institute of Management (RIM), Thimphu. We were talking of our whereabouts and howabouts of our everyday life and career life. Then he started asking me on what I will do after my contract term is over. By the way, I forgot to mention that I am working as a contract employee.

I was like I am not sure where will I go or stay. Right at that moment and right in front of my contract end period laid a blank page! Basically, I was Blank! He started suggesting me to join the civil service and give my second try for BCSE. He was lightheartedly guessing the questions that would be asked during the viva. One question hit me deep; he asked me “What was your greatest achievement in two years?”

I had no instant answer to his probable question but I went to flashback mode on reflecting what I did in my one year service term for several days and even now. There are 365 days in a year! What did I actually achieve? How would I have answered if this question was asked?

Should I answer to the physical developments which reached after I got into the service? But it was all preplanned and all I did was help in carrying out and monitoring. Should I answer that I went to office on time and left the office on time? Should I answer that I attended meetings and workshops? Or should I answer that I served in one of the remotest areas? But there are hundreds of civil servants who are serving places more remote than I am serving in.

More than the physical achievements, in one year term I have been able to interact with the parents of our agronomic society. I now know that you do not get apple from fruit market but it comes from the apple tree that our agronomic parents have sweated for. I know that you can be literate and still uneducated and vice versa. I know that people can be selfish at times but you need to be persistent in your good thoughts and actions. I know you will meet groups who will cooperate with you and others who will not.  I have learnt that our children who are cared less are taken care by our great leader. I know how I would feel if I am left alone and aloof in my aged days. I know a simple kind gesture is all it requires to make someone’s day. And that your small kind good deed can inspire few but even if you can’t you have done your part. That volunteerism comes from the heart.

My answer for that probable question would be I have developed myself. I have seen changes in myself and I can relate myself to the small community I have served for. What more would you need to achieve if you have already seen positive changes in you? Doesn’t outer world start from where you stand as an individual?

Can you reflect upon what have you done in a year or past few months?

How many friends do you have? If I am asked that question I will have to count the same person three times or more and increase the number. The number of friends I have is very limited. I like being surrounded by few genuine than thousand questionable ones. I am basically saying my circle is small, compact and I am Sincere in my friendship towards them.

Essays and poems about friends were homework tasks assigned during primary school days. My essay would begin with “My best friend is.….” And I don’t remember what more description I scribbled down. Yes we have been friends since my primary school days to present day.

I completed my lower secondary school then the middle secondary school and even High School. The homework tasks were no more about who is your friend and all. It was about evolution, history and geography, human metabolism, calculus, theories and information technology. The circle of my friends still remained small and compact. I questioned myself on if I lacked in friend making but I loved that close and compact circle.

Then I got into college and after one year into my college entrance my father got arrested and was detained. My semester was not over and I could not make visit. During his out days he used to introduce me his friends but to my utter amazement none of his so called friends made visit to him. May be I never got to listen to the stories of his friends. I started wondering if my dad was worse than me in making friends?

Through the observations I made about my dad’s friends I started doubting friendship. On if friends were real? Or if friends are only for good times? The story took turn when I met my college friends. They have been with me on my laughing days, then the crying days and on my normal days. I don’t have to mention them but I know they truly know who they are.

For making me gain trust in friendship now I have learnt to believe in friendship. I have limited circle of friends but I know they are genuine in their thoughts and actions. May be when my dad comes back I will have to let him meet my friends and teach him how to make friends.

To all the genuine friends around the world. Keep the light of friendship burning and passing so that someone like me and my dad might start believing all over once again.

Lately, this picture has hit me constantly on how I would be at the age of 75. I am 24 now and I have to live another 51 years to be 75. I have always told my friends that 65 would be my perfect age to leave this world. But do we even have choice of when to be born and when to exit? The perfect age of 65 was my certainty until I met this 75 year old woman and now I am uncertain of the perfect age of exit.

To the extreme east a place which is connected by 18KM of rough road from Mongar-Tashigang high way is a Gewog named Narang under Mongar Dzongkhag. It is 100 kilometers away from the Dzongkhag. To the extreme North-West of the remote Gewog is the far flung Village named Yangzor. It is 45 minutes walk for 24 year old woman and 2 hours walk for 75 year old woman.

Yangzor just have three households. Basic necessity like drinking water and electricity is provided except the farm road connection. The first household I visit was a home of woman in her mid forties. She stays alone at home. All of her children (4 of them) stay at Thimphu. Then the next household was the household of energetic home of 75 years old woman and 72 years old man.

They are the lone couple there. At first I felt pity that these two old couple is left alone and aloof in this far flung village. As I entered their house I see a handloom and thought that there is a daughter who stays with them. To my amazement it was this 75 years old woman who was weaving. Can you believe this? She is 75 and is still weaving! Later I found that she weaves and sells her product. The cash earned from the product is utilized in hiring laborers to do their field work.

She has her children in urban areas. She is happy on receiving calls from her daughters and sons on reminding her to take her medicines on time. Household chores like cooking, cleaning and washing are seen as no burden for this 75 years old woman. This 75 years old granny is still in her 50s.

Since that day it hit me deep that 75 years is too short if you are willing to live. There is no certain age to exit this world, just uncertainties to living and existing.

I still question to myself “How old would I be if I were to live upto 75 years?”

It is 4:59 in the morning. I have set my alarm at 5:05 AM. My cell phone beeps with a ringtone and I see the name “JIME LHADEN” on the screen. Yes! The caller on the other side of the cell was my friend. “Sonam, are you coming yet?” Oh… I wished it rained today. I said I did not get out of the bed yet but I will reach in a minute or two. I seriously wished that it rained this morning but to my disappointment the sky is clearer than any other days. There were two choices right at that 4:59 AM moment. I had the choice of going back to sleep and the choice of waking up. I chose the latter one. I jumped out of the bed, put on my snickers and in 4 minutes I was with my friends out there jogging. I know I was late by 2 minutes than the time said earlier but my friends were waiting. Yes they were waiting with a ball! A game of 3 versus 2 was fun and enjoyable. We danced and sang on our way back. What a great way to start a day! After one and half an hour I was glad that my friend woke me and that the sky was clearer and that I chose to wake up.

I am back to home after a great start of day. I took a quick shower, did with my everyday offerings and treated myself to a delicious breakfast. Then I look into my bedroom and then into my cupboard. I see the clothes that I washed day before lying unfolded and the lump of clothes that seriously need ironing . I prefer washing buckets of clothes than folding a cloth. Those clothes that need pressing have been lying there for quite some time. Ahhh…. I sighed. The choice was leaving my room untidy with those clothes all over my room or otherwise. I chose the latter one. It really looks nice to have arranged the things in the place where it should be.

Few weeks earlier a senior mentioned about blogging. Since then I was thinking of writing something. Every time I had topic in a mind and then postponed to pen down things until today. I had the choice of writing or not penning down. This time I chose the earlier one. So here it is! I chose to wake up, chose to put the things in its right place and finally chose to write.

Every moment has choices offered to us, the choice is always yours. I now realize what this quote “You are the creator of your own Destiny” means. THE CHOICE IS OURS!

This is a blog born of passion. Not to generalize but to share the views from my own lens.