Wandering Thoughts

It was during one of those days

When thoughts wandered

And I wanted to pen it down

AND I wrote a line

Then everything came to halt

The things around me

And the wandering thoughts in my mind

What did I even want to convey?

To whom was I even trying to write for?

I have a blog

Which usually gets clogged

I have a friend who gives a push

With a push I write a line

With a push I read a line

It is with a line

I am able to write a paragraph

With a line I am able to complete a book

The single line is the start!

Write even if it is a line

Read even if it is a line

A line even if in weeks or years

You never know how long you live

You never know how many lines it would amount to

What makes you different from unknown?

If you remain like one

Start with a line

Even if it is a line.

Cheers!

I want to share what I am up to these days or it would be more appropriate if I share what we are up to. But who would care what I am up to? A little part of me hopes that at least few would be interested to know about what I am up to. This is neither something about what I am going through emotionally nor about my financial and physical development. It is about what we are doing in our career. I felt it would be appropriate and informative if I can share with you what we are up to.

We are far away from our homes either studying, working or for reasons known and unknown. We remain aloof in a crowded world. Sometimes even unaware of basic information of our own birthplace. We surf internet every minute with most visited site being social media. We sometimes wish to know what is going on back at home but are left helpless. Department of local Government has come up with solution for this dilemma. Website where Gewog profile, details of local Government functionaries and civil servants, infrastructures, plans and budgets of the Gewog and Information on different sectors will be available now. All you need is to click on http://www.localgovernment.bt

Gewog Administrative officers and Dzongkhag Statistical Officers are in the verge of punching the processed data. Gewogs under Mongar and Lhuntse Dzongkhags have started entering the relevant data starting 26^th February, 2019.

This is what we are up to this days and hope what we are up to keep you updated with information of your own place of choice.

Hello my Ex-valentine,

I do not celebrate valentine. The first time I did was with you and the last time I did was with you. After almost three years I am back to where all our memories started. May be it is the 14^th February that is doing the trick or may be it is this place that is doing the trick. I am reminded of our memories together. The facebook memories of two years back reminds me of our moments together. The caption reads “Hey bae. Happy valentines day. May us be us always. Love you bae.” The fact that you are you and I am me still does not change but sadly we couldn’t be us together.

Almost a year and I still feel our memories vivid. The last time we decided to walk away from one another I was tearing up and my voice shaking. It was just that puzzling junction where we had to make our own choices. I think you did yours and I did mine. I think we did great that day. We would stay a friend that is what we told one another. Deep down I knew that was just a word, mere word out of words. That tick mark of “Friend” in our social media kept us connected. That was the only string that kept us together. We were friends without conversations. One late night I was on vodka and texted you “I miss you a little more today”. Then I got a reply that you are in relationship with someone and I congratulated you on your new mission and vision. That was the last conversation of our string “friend”. May be that was the last conversation.

I just wanted to let you know that we have met for reason and we have departed for a reason. May be you are celebrating your valentine today and I just wanted to tell you that I do not celebrate valentine anymore.

P.S: I wrote this just out of familiarity of this place and memories. I am doing perfectly well.

May be it was since the first time I saw people in orange uniform (though I don’t remember when was that first time) but I wished to wear that uniform. It was a sincere wish. I loved seeing them do helpful voluntary services; their presence and aid during needful times and the times they would proudly stand in the crowd with pride were few of the attracting forces into the beginning journey. While in the mid of appreciation of their services and looking upon them I completed my graduation and then later entered into service. So long has passed while I was just observing.

I got into a job in the mid of March, 2017 and then I reported to my working station by April, 2017. My wish of few years met with an opportunity! The 25^th batch of Desuups were to be trained from Eastern Region. I was just a month and few days into job and was in dilemma on whether I should join the group or not. My family had very limited knowledge about Desuups and they were asking me to act like a womanJ. My aunty thought Desuup was something only man can do. While in that dilemma I met with a friend- to be. His presence and words made my decisions much clearer. May be I was waiting for someone like him to guide me. So the answer is very obvious. I decided to join the 25^th batch. A sincere wish comes flying to you one day or the other.

Thirty five days of toil, sweats, runs, sit-ups, push-ups, dances, rock climbing, rappelling, shoots, laughter and tears came to an end in a split of second. In that split of second me and my comrades (117 of us) made a promise of life. Oath of everyday! We promised to be there for the country, people and the king in times of need. We pledged to be there for the TSA-WA-SUM in times of natural disasters. We vowed to be there for the TSA-WA-SUM in all times. We promised to remain thoughtful in our thoughts, words and actions. We promised to not let down our Supreme Commander and Desuup fellow mates. We promised to remain true to ourselves and the TSA-WA-SUM. We promised to abide by our honor code.

And today on this Fourth Desuung Raising Day I promise the same. I want to remind the same to my Desuup fellow mates. Wherever I may be, whenever it may be, to whomever it may be, to whatsoever it may be, and to why-so-ever it may be I will always remain a Desuup and abide by the Honor code.

Desuups just have a beginning story to narrate and it is their services to the nation that will tell the ending story. Being a Desuup is a life time journey for me.

HAPPY 4^th DESUUNG RAISING DAY!

P.S: I and my family now encourage my younger brother to join Desuup one day. Now my aunty thinks Desuup is for both male and female. It will be a life long journey for my brother as well.

It has been quite sometime since the last time I witnessed our local Tshechu (religious event). Few months ago I took the time to witness the last day of three days local tshechu. Tshechu as I heard from the legends were organized to let people accumulate merit after long, busy, and tiring and demerit farming works. In the eye of a layman I see tshechu as a time for celebration. The Tshechu that I witnessed is conducted every year in the tenth month of every Bhutanese calendar. Sowing, reaping and collection works of the farmers of the locality comes to the end by the mid of tenth month of the Bhutanese calendar. Recitation of prayers, prostration, lighting of butter lamps, and offering of serkems (alcohol offering), dances and mask dances are some of the major events of the local Tshechu.

As a child of 4 or 5 Tshechus were times for family gathering. Even as I grew to 16 and 17 tshechus were just a local celebration event. I never had second thought and I never took the time to watch it much with curiosity as today. My maternal grandfather was with me and he was teaching me the names of the mask. It is said that we have to know the name of the masks as we will encounter all of them in our afterlife.

Then there was “Ki Khui Cham”: that is what I call in my personal dictionary (smile). I am familiar with this term because the man yells and cries for help and the tone he makes is “ki khui”. It is the “Bardo” cham wherein a person after his death encounters with the angel of death. He is questioned on good things and bad things done while living. The good and bad deeds are measured. If the good deeds weigh lighter than the bad deeds he is lead to be in the hell and if the bad deeds weigh lighter than the good deeds he/she is lead to be in heaven (Zhingkham). This incident had me thinking how light are my bad deeds? How heavy are my good deeds? How light and heavy are we in our deeds? I am still reflecting on how light and heavy I am in my thoughts, speech and deeds.

P.S: This is merely my wandering thoughts

To a parent a son was born
To a king a prince was born
To the nation a ruler was born
“He is not just my son, but the son of Bhutanese”
To Bhutanese parents a promising son was born
To the Bhutanese grandparents an adorable grandson was born
To the young a guiding brother was born
A friend was born to the same
He is a son
He is a brother
A son and brother to 0.07 million people of Bhutan
He is in the prayers of 0.07 grandparents, parents, sisters and brothers
He is in our thoughts
He is in our prayers
He is in our wishes
Thank you for being born
Happiest third Birthday Gyalsay la
You are an apple to the eye
You are the sweetness to our laughter
You are just so adorable.

Imagine this… One day you are in a crowd and you see some busy with own life, some give you stolen looks, some stare at you, some smile at you and some give you a weird look. Then… what do you do? Don’t you look and check upon yourself on what is wrong for their stare and weird looks at you. Yes you do! Yes I do! Yes we do! May be it is good that you and I look back upon ourselves for their expressions to us. May be we want to appear better. May be we want an assurance nod than weird look.

Back to my story, I was swapping through my friend Jigme Lhaden’s phone. I was intrigued on seeing one of her captures. Right on that instant I was asking her to share me that picture. I told her that I would give her the credit for photography. The other night she was telling me how she wished I write an article soon. She was telling me about my clogged blog. I was lacking inspiration these days. For this article her capture was my inspiration. I promised her I would write an article for her to read.

On asking why did she capture that picture she told me she found it unique. A fully bloomed rhododendron tree in the midst of pines: that was the picture that was in her gallery. Most of us are drawn upon what is similar to us. We aspire to be someone like him/her when we forget we are just one in seven billion. We want to talk and act like them when no one can talk and act like you. It is only you who can be like you. We want to impress by being like someone and acting like someone. We want to follow the crowd when we neglect our self.

This rhododendron is in the midst of pines. This rhododendron is a lone survival among the pines. This rhododendron is blooming among the pines. The blooming nature of rhododendron is not suppressed by its’ survival among the pines. The pines have surrounded the lone rhododendron but it has not stopped blooming. You are just you wherever you may be. Don’t lose your charm trying being someone you are not. You are beautiful, you are enough and you are worth your love. Follow the crowd but do not forget your blossom. Keep blooming wherever you are. Be the lone rhododendron among the pines. Their expression is the way of seeing you. Don’t question yourself if you already know who you are!

I don’t remember when this was written. My notepad has been lying on the table for almost months after my last jot. A wake recap reminds me of writing this note during one of the meetings. I was there but may be my mind wasn’t there. “If loving someone hurts, try otherwise. Start loving yourself. When was the last time you greeted yourself in the morning feeling grateful for waking up? When was the last time you consoled yourself on doing bad at your job? When was the last time you patted yourself for the tiring day? We start counting our tears than blessings. We have our laughing days, smiling days and every day normal days. Then there is that one to two moments of tiring days. What do we do during those days? You start to blame the system, blame other party, blame your situations, blame your luck and finally and mostly you start blaming yourself. You blame yourself for the bad decisions, for not being good enough, for not saying enough while you forget being you is enough. A relationship breaks and you blame yourself for not being good enough. If you have given every piece of your heart into this relation and if it still breaks, don’t blame yourself; just know that some things and people are not meant for us. In the process of impressing others we have forgotten to love ourselves, we dress for others….” And I guess the meeting came to an end or my thoughts exhausted reaching that line.

As I flip through those pages I feel like I was consoling myself and today as I see this piece I feel like I am being consoled by myself. I feel better for walking away, I feel heard for speaking up, I learned from the mistakes and every day and every moment I start to appreciate and love myself more. Inspirational quotes and motivational speeches can never compare to the experiences you have felt. I think it is okay to learn from your own mistakes, pains and decisions. It is okay to feel the pain now but I hope you do not forget to love yourself a little more. First start loving yourself selflessly and selflessly love flows to others. Do not take yourself for granted. This is my story from pages of my stories.

It is cold here and when I mean cold it may not be as cold as snowman making cold

It may be cold yet interlocked your fingers are

Handful of snows you collect and drop it to the location of the snowman making

It is not this cold here

Snowman making is very cold yet you bear the cold with joy

The cold here is no joy but bearable

I search for warmth, a fire I guess

Fire rescues me from the cold

Ahh! The cold is bearable because there is warmth

Ahh! Snowman making is fun because there is joy

Just as pain is bearable because there is joy

Departure is fine because there is meeting

Death is forgotten because there is life

The cut is okay because there is healing

The cold is bearable because there is warmth and joy.

P.S Random thoughts

I remember a vague line from the book “For One more Day” written by Mitch Albom which says that the author’s story start where her mother’s story start. But I tell you this without a father there isn’t a mother, without mother there isn’t father, without them there aren’t parents, without parents there is no life and without life you and me wouldn’t have a story either. Each of us has a story to share because we have our parents.

I will share with you my story! Nine months in her womb from embryo to a baby. First few years of our life is spent on sleeping, eating and shitting while our parents sing us lullaby, feeding and cleaning. Then few more years crawling, murmuring, walking and playing while our parents still feed, clean, hold us and teach us. “My child is growing” they say it with pride. Then few more years added and we are into school still playing and growing. Few more years and we are busy living our own life while our parents are still working and praying for us. Often times in the process of our GROWING we tend to take for granted our parents who fed us, taught us, brought us and gave us a life. I am child of this generation who also forget often on how grateful I should be every day to my parents (life-giver).

Today is just like any other day but often without a reminder we tend to forget celebrations which should happen every day. Today is considered “Mothers’ Day” in Bhutan coinciding with the descending day of Lord Buddha but I say today is “Parents’ Day”. This day gives me and the Bhutanese a day to offer sincere prayers and wishes of gratitude to our parents for all they have done to write our own story. I and my siblings were lucky to have mother of birth and mother of care, father of birth and father of care. I have two pairs of parents!

They will never ever be able to read my article but on this very day I offer my sincere prayers for your wellbeing. I thank you for giving me life, bringing me up, medicating me, showering your love and care, for all your sacrifices’ and support. If there is anything I could ask for in this life then it is my parents. If there is anything I could wish for me in my next life it would be my parents I will wish for.

31^st October in the History of Bhutan is the Royal Wedding Anniversary of our Fourth Druk Gyalpo Jigme Singye Wangchuck and the four Ashis. On this day I also take the privilege to wish our Majesties “HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY” and thank you for being a great parent to our nation and the people. On this very note may Bhutan be gifted with parents like you in all years to come. “HAPPY PARENTS’ DAY!”

P.S I was writing this article to share few words of gratitude to my parents on this special day but I got short of words to describe how grateful I am. I was stuck for quite some time to reach to the end of this article.